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Men's evening: which man are you?

Ready-made, 90 minutes, for 4 to 20 men

Everyone does the test at home beforehand and brings his profile. That evening you discover how different you are, what you need from each other, and everyone goes home with one step for the next 30 days.

What kind of man are you? What kind of father are you?

A week before

Send this message to the men. The test takes about 4 minutes on a phone and nothing is stored.

Next time we'll talk about who we are as men. Please take this short test beforehand (4 minutes) and bring your result: https://wimkamphorst.nl/en/what-kind-of-man-are-you

Send via WhatsApp

Forgot to do it? No problem: men can do the test at the start of the evening on their phone, with the QR code.

The evening, 90 minutes

  1. 10 min
    Welcome and prayer

    Coffee, short introductions if the group is new, and a prayer. Read Genesis 2:15: God gave the man work and a garden to keep. Everyone does that in his own way.

  2. 15 min
    Round: this is me

    Everyone says in one minute: "I am … and you notice it when …". Give an example from this week. Don't explain or defend, just tell.

  3. 20 min
    Groups per profile

    Men with the same profile sit together. Take the card of your profile and talk through the questions. Is someone the only one with his profile? Then he joins his second profile.

  4. 20 min
    Mixed groups

    Form groups of three or four with as many different profiles as possible. Ask: what do I need from your profile? Where do we clash? And where would I go wrong without you?

  5. 15 min
    One step for 30 days

    Everyone picks one of the three steps on his card and tells the man next to him. Agree to send each other a message in two weeks: how is it going?

  6. 10 min
    Blessing for each other

    Pray in pairs for each other's step. Close together, for example with Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: two are better than one.

Tips for whoever leads

  • Go first in each round, and be honest about your own pitfall. Others follow your openness.
  • No profile is better than another. Say so out loud at the start.
  • What is said in the group stays in the group.
  • Print the cards below, one per profile, so every group has its own questions.

Cards per profile

What kind of man are you?

The Builder

You make things. Where you are, something stands at the end of the day that was not there before.

Your strength: Perseverance, reliable work, making sure it gets done.
Watch out for: Finding your worth in what you achieve, and forgetting to rest.

Talk about

  1. When do you notice that my work comes between us, and what would you want from me then?
  2. Where do I get my worth from, and could I keep it if I achieved nothing for a year?
  3. Which task could I let go of or share with someone else this month?
  4. What does real rest look like for me, and what holds me back from taking it?

Choose one step for 30 days

  1. This week put two hours in your calendar that are only for rest, and do not turn them into a job. Tell your wife or a friend you are doing it. Marcus 6:31
  2. Choose one evening a week without screens or chores. Then ask someone at home: do you need a solution or a listening ear? Spreuken 18:13
  3. On Sunday take an hour to pray without a list. Only tell God what you are thankful for, and leave everything else alone. Psalm 127:1-2

Nehemiah, who rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem with a tool in one hand and prayer in the other. Nehemiah 2 to 6

What kind of man are you?

The Protector

You stand up when it counts. People feel safe with you.

Your strength: Courage, loyalty, taking responsibility when it gets hard.
Watch out for: Wanting to carry everything yourself, and holding on to control where you should trust.

Talk about

  1. When do you feel I carry too much alone, and how could you help me with that?
  2. Which worry am I holding on to when I should really lay it down before God?
  3. When was the last time I asked for help, and what happened?
  4. Where do I become hard or controlling out of fear, and what would trust change there?

Choose one step for 30 days

  1. This week choose one man you trust and tell him what is weighing on you. Arrange a coffee before Saturday. Galaten 6:2
  2. Hand one task you always do yourself to someone else, and leave the result as it is. Do not redo it afterwards. Exodus 18:17-23
  3. Each evening write down one worry and give it to God, in a single sentence. Do this seven days in a row. 1 Petrus 5:7

David, who as a shepherd boy protected his sheep from lions and bears, before he ever faced Goliath. 1 Samuel 17:34-37

What kind of man are you?

The Explorer

You want to know what lies beyond the horizon. New roads attract you more than beaten paths.

Your strength: Daring to begin, staying curious, taking others along into something new.
Watch out for: Restlessness, not finishing things, leaving as soon as it gets boring.

Talk about

  1. Where did I promise or start something that I have not finished, and what have you noticed of that?
  2. When do I give you the feeling that things here are not exciting enough for me?
  3. Which habit would help me stay faithful, even when it gets boring?
  4. What is God calling me to begin now, and what is he asking me to finish first?

Choose one step for 30 days

  1. Make a list of your open projects. Choose one thing today to finish before the end of the month and plan the first step for tomorrow. Lucas 16:10
  2. Ask a reliable friend to check monthly how your project is going. Set the first date now. Prediker 4:9-10
  3. Plan a fixed ten minutes with God every week, at the same place and time. Do this for four weeks without exception. Psalm 1:2-3

Abraham, who left his country without knowing where he was going, because God called him. Genesis 12:1-4

What kind of man are you?

The Brother

You bring people together. At your table everyone feels welcome.

Your strength: Listening, friendship, making people feel seen.
Watch out for: Avoiding conflict and not daring to say no.

Talk about

  1. When do I say yes while I really want to say no, and what does that cost us?
  2. Is there something I have wanted to say for a long time and do not dare to?
  3. Where do I avoid a conflict that will only get bigger in the end?
  4. With whom am I really honest, and who knows how I am really doing?

Choose one step for 30 days

  1. Think of one conversation you have been putting off for weeks. Plan it this week, write down two sentences beforehand and say them calmly. Efeziërs 4:15
  2. This week say a kind no to one request, without a long explanation. Notice that the friendship stays intact. Matteüs 5:37
  3. Ask a friend to tell you honestly where he misses you or where you avoid things. Pick a moment before Sunday and listen without defending yourself. Spreuken 27:17

Jonathan, who stayed loyal to his friend David, even when it cost him a lot. 1 Samuel 18:1-4 and 20

Also useful: the free app Davidshart brings the tests together, and you can challenge each other. Davidshart