You are the man
The prophet Nathan did not preach at King David. He told a story, and David became furious with the man in that story. Then Nathan said: "You are the man." Read a situation below, first think for yourself who it was, and then open it. It is not about judgement, but about recognition. (2 Samuel 12:1-7)
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He stood right there when it went wrong. He said nothing. When he was called to account, he pointed at someone else.
This was: Adam
Silence is also a choice. The first failure of the first man was not a deed, but a silence, followed by shifting the blame.
Where are you standing by and saying nothing?
Read: Genesis 3:6, Genesis 3:12
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His daughter was wronged. He heard about it, and kept silent until his sons came home. Then his sons let their anger run wild.
This was: Jacob, with his daughter Dinah
When a father stays silent, he leaves the space to others, and they do not always fill it well.
Where are you waiting for someone else to deal with it?
Read: Genesis 34:5, Genesis 34:25-30
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He knew what his sons were doing. He spoke to them mildly once, and left it at that. Meanwhile he did teach another boy to listen to God.
This was: Eli, the priest
You can be good for someone else's children and still fall short with your own. Love without boundaries leaves a child alone.
Which conversation with your own child are you putting off?
Read: 1 Samuel 2:22-25, 1 Samuel 3:9-13
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When he heard what his eldest son had done, he was furious. But he did nothing.
This was: David, with his son Amnon
Getting angry without acting is not justice. The wrong was left lying there, and another son later took matters into his own hands.
What are you angry about while doing nothing?
Read: 2 Samuel 13:21-29
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His father had never challenged him. Never asked: why are you doing this? As a grown man he grabbed for power.
This was: Adonijah, a son of David
A child who is never asked a question is never given direction either. Asking an honest question is also a form of love.
Which question do you not dare to ask your child or a younger man?
Read: 1 Kings 1:5-6
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Out of fear he called his wife his sister. Years later, in the same land, his son did exactly the same.
This was: Abraham, and later his son Isaac
Children inherit not only your faith, but also your fears. What you do not face, you pass on.
Which pattern do you not want to pass on?
Read: Genesis 12:13, Genesis 20:2, Genesis 26:7
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Every time after his children had a feast, he got up early and brought an offering for each child separately. In case one of them had let go of God in his heart.
This was: Job
Praying for your children is work nobody sees. Job did it by name, one by one, and he did it again and again.
For which child or young person will you pray by name this week?
Read: Job 1:5
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He saw his son-in-law working from early morning until evening, and said honestly: this is not good, you are wearing yourself out. And he immediately offered a solution.
This was: Jethro, father-in-law of Moses
A good father figure dares to be honest, and does not stop at criticism. He helps the other forward.
Who is allowed to speak honestly to you? And who do you speak to?
Read: Exodus 18:13-24
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He carried the fire and the knife himself, and let his son carry the wood. They walked up the mountain together.
This was: Abraham, with his son Isaac
As a father you carry the most dangerous things yourself. And you walk together.
What do you carry so that your child does not have to?
Read: Genesis 22:6-8
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He had power, saw a woman who was not his, and took her. When someone told him a story about a rich man who took everything from a poor man, he was furious with that rich man.
This was: David
We see most quickly in others what is inside ourselves. But David let himself be confronted, and his repentance became a psalm that is still prayed today.
Who are you quick to be angry with, while it may also be about you?
Read: 2 Samuel 11 to 12:13, Psalm 51
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His son had hurt him deeply and had left. When he saw him coming in the distance, he ran to meet him.
This was: The father in the parable of the prodigal son
Here Jesus does not mirror a man, but God himself. This is how the Father looks at you, and how you may look at your child.
Who should you be running towards?
Read: Luke 15:20-24
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He heard that a son would be born. His first prayer was: teach us what we should do with the child.
This was: Manoah, father of Samson
A good father does not start with answers, but with a question to God.
What do you want to ask God about your child, or about the young people around you?
Read: Judges 13:8
Tip: do this with a friend or your men's group. Read the situation aloud, let everyone guess, and only then open it.