Royal leadership | Wim Kamphorst

As a man and father. Choose what you usually do, not what you would like to do. Other version

1You face a setback or criticism of your work. How does your inner voice react?

True identity and courage

I coolly work out what went wrong and work harder to put it right. I quickly feel hurt or doubt myself. I defend myself or withdraw. My worth does not waver. I learn from the criticism and stay on course. I try to restore the atmosphere quickly, so no one stays disappointed.

2How open are you about doubts and weak spots with other men?

True identity and courage

I am a good listener, but find it hard to be truly open myself. I invest in friendships where we are honest and keep each other sharp. I keep my distance. Sharing my doubts feels unsafe. We mostly do practical things together, but rarely talk about what goes on inside.

3You notice you are under great pressure and at risk of overload. What do you do?

True identity and courage

I see my limits in time, rest without guilt and ask for help if needed. I try to spare everyone, but forget to take care of myself. I make a tight schedule and steer even more tightly. I ignore the signals until I am exhausted or short-tempered.

4Your children see you on a bad day. What do they notice?

True identity and courage

I am short-tempered and withdraw. I push through and show nothing. I honestly say it is a hard day, without taking it out on them. I act extra cheerful, so no one is bothered by it.

5You get into a heated discussion with your wife or someone close to you. What happens to your attitude?

Connection and honour

I give in quickly to keep the peace, even though something keeps nagging. I quickly feel misunderstood or put up a wall. I debate with arguments to prove I am right. I take responsibility for my own reaction and keep listening, without losing the connection.

6How do you set boundaries in time, energy or expectations?

Connection and honour

I put up hard walls and communicate mostly in a businesslike way. I say clearly what I can and cannot give, with respect for the other and for myself. I find saying no difficult, get overloaded and feel frustrated afterwards. My boundaries are very flexible. I adapt quickly.

7Your child makes a big mistake or breaks something. What is your first reaction?

Connection and honour

I immediately give a clear consequence, so the rules are clear again. I first stay calm and connected, and then help my child take responsibility. I quickly play it down, so my child does not get upset. I react out of anger, because it disturbs my peace or plans.

8What is your main drive when you build your work, family or future?

Vision and legacy

Seeking security, and the fear of falling short. Helping others and making sure the people around me are content. Stewardship: using my gifts for something that lasts. Sense of duty, putting things in order and reaching goals.

9How do you help your children learn to make good choices?

Vision and legacy

I quickly solve difficult problems for them, to spare them grief. I get frustrated when they do not listen and then punish without consistency. I set the rules so tightly that they can make as few mistakes as possible. I give room for their own choices, stand beside them and help them learn from the consequences.

10How do you contribute to the growth of the people around you?

Vision and legacy

I actively encourage others to use their gifts and try to be an example. I give advice and practical tips on how things can be done better. I am mostly busy surviving and keeping my own affairs in order. I offer support and create a pleasant atmosphere.